Unspectacular Quirks?

This was brought up by a former post from Ann. Everyone has quirks to their personalitly, its what either gives us a unique behavior, sense of humor, characher, style or persona, our individuality .  I thought I could share mine with you then you... if only to make you laugh.

Quirk: a peculiarity of action or behavior.

Truly unspectacular quirks:

1.  I research anything I don't understand or am interested in... I will look it up then dump the information onto the next poor person so asks me about the subject... I am the bearer of an unbelievable amount of useless facts, and just plain random information... hence why I get the question “why would you know that information?”

2. I absolutely hate embarrassing moments on TV or in the movies... I will leave a room or change the channel for a moment to escape watching it ... to the point where if I have the remote I click to change the channel, I do it unconsciously... until the other people in the room yell  "Hey"... However -- I don't embarrass.. it takes quite a lot for me to get embarrassed, or at least a tremendous amount of special effort is required... it is the 'when are these people ever going to see me again' theory .. and if it is in front of family or friends then they have probably seen me do stupider stuff.

3. I have the mommy disease of 'repeat'... when you are having a 'talk' with your children, ages can vary... but it is especially apparent when they are teenagers... they get that glossed over look in the eyes - signaling that they have left the conversation even though they are still physically there... Once you get going in the 'talk' and don't get a verbal response you 'repeat', sometimes the exact same words or you can say the same thing in several ways -- hoping beyond hope that it actually penetrated the 'kid force-field' – well it occasionally seeps into the rest of life -- I am good at catching it but still it is a quirk I can't seem to shake

4. I am completely unable to repeat a conversation I have had with anyone... If you say something to me even not more than 30 seconds ago.. I will summarize - paraphrase - rephrase - interpret - reword but I am mentally / physically unable to 'repeat' what you said .. I am talking if it is three words or more you will get the 'Jax Version' of the conversation -- Hello I am an natural blonde, my brain is an etch-a-sketch with broken drawing handles

5. I am physically violent when I laugh... this is mostly dangerous to anyone within arms reach.. I  LOVE standup comics, it is also with movies, TV, live shows and it doesn't matter if we are in public or not... When I find something rip roaring funny I smack my knee or leg or side occasionally or more often if you ask my family I smack the person next to me...my poor husband and children could probably claim abuse... oh by the way I don't hit like a sissy...

6. I will organize-clean anything.... It is sad but true... I don't have OCD but I absolutely detest piles-stacks, don't get me wrong right now I have three baskets of laundry in my living room, they are clean I just haven't gotten to putting them away, they have been clean since Wednesday - However if I can't find something then it has to be organized... I especially hate sticky... I can handle any mess but sticky...it has seeped into my friends lives... If I can't handle your living space we just meet in public or my house... Otherwise I tend to clean or pickup while I visit you, I have managed through sheer will to cut it down to the area we are actively in most specifically just the space that is within my reach... everyone always know where I am sitting so it has its uses… my friends laugh at me but they can and have used it to their benefit... LOL.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself but if you can’t …. I hope I don’t know you.

Quirks... foibles, peculiarity, oddity, eccentricity, idiosyncrasy -- What are your six?

ast night our AC died... We live in Texas it's June and even at night it stays hot -- example its 7pm and is 95 [35 celisus]. Ah!! the last thing we need is to have to pay to have the AC repaired or replaced. We replaced our inside uint about 1 1/2 ago and cheap is not the word we could use for this. The whole thing together would of been around $8,000. The inside unit was probably the age of the freakin house but the outside unit was only about 10 years old.

Anyway... got off track...

Chris called in sick last night - stomach bug going around... which is something he never does so when he got overheated last night he tought it was because he was sick. I am in an ambien coma and I like it warmer so it didn't bother me. When I woke up this morning I honestly didn't notice - Bryan complained about it but he is a teenager and that's his job. But after a few minutes I realized he was right and checked the unit,,, inside looked fine... the outside wires can freeze over so I checked the unit and nothing. I let Chris sleep in and when he woke up I asked him about it. He did the same as me but remembered the AC installer talking to him about different parts. Note... I always hang around and ask questions, probably to many but I need to know, we are the ones living here and unless the installer lets us have a direct line to him 24 hrs we need to know what is going on so we can rescue oursleves - enough to make sure it doesn't make things worse. Chris hangs out to I am unsure if it was me who got him in the habit or it was part of his make up before me, either way, we take turns... don't want to scare or piss off the installer. lol.

We priced the repair and we so don't have the money to do any of that. So we started our usual research mode... luckily I can actually read something other than the internet. So I pulled out the real paper yellow pages... found a local company that supplies the same external unit we have to repair-installation companies... a very nice lady gave me the name of a parts supply warehouse that can sell parts to the general public and I called... they had the part we needed.. and instead of costing 350$ for the part and installation.. it cost us 15$... that's right 15$... oh and the manual labor was provided by the hubby... makes him feel manly & useful. lol.

Here are a few of my favorites from an article/blog about how crazy Job Hunting can be and how crazy it is making me now.

Job-hunting SUCKS!
By JCP 
It's hard to look for a decent job with a decent company if you're a decent hard-working employee!

http://www.theinsanedomain.com/Articles/lists/jobhunting.htm

Applying for ANY job to pay your rent, but no one will hire you because you're overqualified and know that you'll be quitting the second you get another job offer somewhere else.

Finding a mistake on your resume ONLY after you've mailed it out to everyone, and the mistake is in your phone number.

Having to write a "personal statement" when really, all you want is a decent job that pays well and some coworkers that don't suck.

Having people point out or suggest jobs to you that have NOTHING to do with what you really do, and they just don't get it.

Looking at job listings online and they're filled with stupid "WORK FROM HOME" listings and other useless garbage.

Job titles that make no sense, are too ambiguous or are just random letters grouped together.

Having someone put in a good word for you, but it turns out they're horrible at their job and/or hated and you're not considered simply because they're an idiot.

The bullshit of cover letters and personal statements.

Trying to sum up what you did in your last job when really, what you did was your job and everyone else's, but you can't put it all down without looking like you're lying about it.

Asking your friend to hand in your resume, and they end up spilling food/coffee on it, crumpling it up and THEN hand it in, or just completely forget.

Spending tons of time on a resume when you know someone is going to spend maybe 10 seconds looking at it, decide they don't like your name and then move onto the next one.

Knowing that one or two page document isn't going to sum you up as a person or a worker, but you're forced to make one anyway.

Emailing your resume in, then realizing you forgot to attach it to the email. Then you send another email with it attached, only now you've forgotten to put the cover letter in the message of the email, or attach it. You send a third email with it all and then find out you've been sending them all to the wrong email address.

Companies that take MONTHS to go through the interviewing and hiring process.

Not finding ANY job postings that are suited to what you do in ANY way for weeks on end.

Having people asking you "How is the job hunt going?" over and over.

Having to go over your resume each time you send it out and never being totally happy with it.

Winding up in a company where creative ideas are squashed, and your only incentive is to just do enough not to get fired. Years later you end up as an unskilled idiot who can't get hired anywhere decent ever again.

Job ads that ask for everything under the sun but really, they don't need half of it for the actual job.

Finding a great job to apply for and you make it to the interview, they basically tell you that you're the best person for the job so you get all excited and then they hire someone else.

Interviews that you know aren't going well within the first two seconds, but you can't get up and run screaming from the place.

Job postings that lie or mislead you into thinking you have a shot, or that the job might actually be interesting.

Job posting requirements made by the HR department instead of the actual department you'll be working for, so they make no sense and ask for tons of things that only robots have.

Being thanked for your time after the interview when it's just been one big waste of time and you both know it.

Laughing at something you think the interviewer is joking about, only to find out they're quite serious.

Being interviewed by about five people all at once, with them asking you questions, scribbling down what you answer with and then whispering amongst themselves.

Hello from the long lost ghost of friends from the past... I come bearing good news and a story to tell.  First the good news - TODAY I GRADUATE FROM THE UNIVERSITY... I will have a Bachelor of Fine Arts, Art History & Criticism.  Which translates to - I can draw a straight line with a ruler - tell you how it fits and is important in history - then criticize it. LOL.

Now for the story... I will make it as short as possible.

My last post was in August of 08, those of you who know the economy has taken a sharp dive, especially the real estate market, foreclosures etc. Anyway, I was working 60 hours a week on average - or basically every waking moment.  While being a realtor gave me some freedom to work from home and make my own schedule it has a double edge sword that way.  Of course I did my best not to fumble but I did... the upscale home construction company I worked with had to let a great percentage of staff go - I managed to be retained through the first wave of lay offs but did not survive the second. So the majority of my clients were through this company which put me in a bind in addition to the fact my other clients couldn't get funding for various reasons so they had to push back their home plans.  Which left me scrambling for more clients to save my business. By October of 2008 we knew it was over and I closed up shop.

During this past two years I have tried to provide financial growth for my family.  I can work any job you throw at me but I wanted to find the one which would be the one that would let us get out of the pay check to paycheck lifestyle and actually give us the leg up.  The one thing anyone ever said to me was well if you had your degree...  I was passed over tons of times that someone had been picked because they had a degree and that my 15 years of management experience was great but I needed my degree.

To that ends -= those of you friends whom have visited me in the past know --- I have been working toward that goal for quite awhile.  Unfortunately life, finances and simply the lack of time always is a factor, add in medical issues and you have a nice cocktail of interesting ingredients to an average everyday life --- whom has freaking Murphy as her #1 fan. lol

While this was happening I found myself getting more and more depressed.  My Fibromyalgia was off the charts with 'FM days'  the medications were not working, stress and fear a big factor in setting everything off.  After the decision to close up shop I pretty much collapsed for about a month. Pain the depression from all the struggles won.  It is hard for me to admit I allowed myself to succumb to 'the dark forces' [lol] but I try to see it as allowing my body, mind, and spirit to recharge -- it makes it sound prettier. lol.

I met with my doctor before classes began and made appointments during and after so that I could monitor my health with a watchdog handy... I will go till I drop this way I had a system of checks and balances.  The doctor admitted that he was extremely worried about me -- I agreed that I was worried about myself my darkness threatened to overwhelm me but I wasn't going to let it win.  He told me he could see the change of coming out of the dark and was glad to see it.

After many discussions with my husband and the boys we decided that we could make it if we clamped down -- no frills [which we never had any real frills anyway] budget -- so I could just go to school and slam out the remaining 5 courses - studio courses are like a lecture class and lab mixed into one - each class would be 3 hours long twice a week -- ouch!  But I wanted to do it - I needed to do it.  I ended up registering late - had to appeal to the school to let me attend spring semester -- obliviously I succeeded but not without a struggle.  Then I had to appeal for certain classes to make a schedule work for me to graduate this semester.   There have been so many ups and downs - family - finance - health - friends - car dying at mid semester - professors - course work -- wow to much to tell now. 

In the end -- today I will be walking across the stage to accept my diploma and I am so excited and proud.  I will have my husband, the boys and a few friends their to see [take pics if they remember to use the camera - lol] - I want the boys to see me walk across there and see that you can achieve your goals even if delayed. lol.  I am proud that I found a man who is a love and friend who doesn't only support with words but actions.  He has been their for me in so many ways, from letting me spew petty moments, holding my hand through pain, letting me follow through even though he knows my body is at break point because he knows that if I don't not only will my body break but my spirit.  To say I am blessed is truth.  We, I have had struggles and will continue to have struggles however we have the blessing of going it together.

Now that I have my freaking 'piece of paper' [diploma] I will probably get the I am 'over qualified' speech but I am diving in anyway.  The job hunt is starting and I have some set ideas of where to go -- but for now I am going to enjoy getting my 'piece of paper', my cap and gown are waiting we walk at 6:30pm tonight... Yeah Baby! 

I have missed talking with my friends and I apologize for being so absent these last months, I hope to visit with you soon and hope you still want to visit with me as well.  If not.. I understand and wish you only the best and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Blessed Be.

I read this article and wanted to share it with all of you.  I vaguely remember writing in a journal but for the most part I remember tons of sketch books with 'doodles'.. as well as the normal doodles and squiggles and miniature notes in the column on the side of school notes from class.

I have a few writings but most of my private personal possessions were lost to a petty vengeful bonfire during my divorce in 1998-1999.  So I have the funny memories of what happened but of course there is that rose colored shell for what was the reality and what is fact.  Reading that others  stood in front of a crowd and read these entries out loud made me wonder if I would have the hustpa to do that.

How about you?  Could you read your old journals out loud - in front of a crowd?

Quote

It wasn't funny at the time - Los Angeles Times

For the record

Diary readings: An article in Saturday’s Section A about adults reading their teenage diaries and writings in public misspelled the name of the university that graduate student Josh Gallaway attends. It is New York’s Columbia University, not Colombia University. ↩

 

 

Quote ... excellent musician, awesome performance

YouTube - KT Tunstall Live
  

Well it figures... teach your kids to share and what do they share?  Germs.  However, it could have been the hubby that decided to share. Either way playing well with others got me sick.  Figures take me almost on my death bed to take a day off... and not for fun stuff.

Saturday and Sunday the hubby as well as Bry wasn't feeling very well.  Saturday night to mid day Sunday I started feeling poorly... ok go ahead with Fibro how do you tell it is a cold/virus/bug... same way you do without it, you feel like a special kind of crappy and run a temperature.  lol

I worked all weekend but Monday morning ... wow!  I felt like road kill probably looked it as well.  So I am schedule for a meeting at 10am.  I stumble out of bed at 7am and text my associate... yep not gonna make it and why.  I nudge the hubby and he considers calling in also... he is still feeling poorly.. but a conscience goes pretty deep for the two of us and he went in. 

He told me later that if he knew that all the day was going to offer was his bosses yammering away at a useless series of 'stuff' that needed to be getting worked on with no resolve to the items anywhere in the near future.... he would have stayed home to.

This morning I still felt like raw meat [wow such descriptions... I need to up date my vocabulary]  I still managed to get my arse to work.. I had a full day to ending at about 7:15pm... when my hubby call to tell me to bring home lettuce, soda & chips or don't come home at all ...lol -- It seems he was sweet and made dinner -- BLT's but we needed the "L".  Chips were required as a side... we eat so healthily. lol

The soda is for the Crown that his boss dropped off yesterday -- the hubby did some outside heavy lifting at his house -- needed to move a monstrosity of a TV ... Hubby and another co worker helped move it. got paid in liquor... not bad.

Only thing I didn't get that we needed was a bag of ice.... which is better than what I usually do... I usually tell the cashier to add a bag of ice then forget to grab it on the way out of the store -- making my purchase more of a donation at that point. lol

OH well.  We survived the day and I am feeling relativity better... All I have to do is get through tomorrow... then I get Thursday and Friday off.

  Side Note:  Earlier this year I put in tons of resumes to jobs that paid a decent wage and what I thought I would be a good job - career starter.  Now it has been 4 months and I just got a call back from one of them.  It appears that I made an impression over the phone - never did get a first interview with them just did a call and check on the resume thing... managed to get a hold of someone in charge...although they decided not to hire someone earlier this year -- they are in a position of needing someone now... the boss remembered speaking to me, dug out my resume and gave me a call.  It is a Marketing Account Manager position and one I had actually discarded as being a possibility -- well after 3 months what would you think?  I asked the base salary, it is adequate not great -- so I set an interview up for Friday at 9am. 

There seems to be some mixed reviews at home about this.  Earlier this year we decided for me to get a 'regular' job -- the M-F 8-5 kind of thing -- a salary so we could actually keep a budget in line.  Then because it was taking so long ... when this sales job opened up to me ... I jumped in and tried to make a go of it until that 'regular' job called.  Well it did and I was surprised to hear that my hubby was hesitant with me going.  He says that its true I haven't gotten paid yet but the funds will start coming in as things close and that I am doing great.

The change of backing has gotten me confused and frustrated.  I did what he asked and looked for that 'really good job' [which I am still up for several of them -- but being government jobs it is taking forever to wade though the hiring process] This sales position was a last ditch effort to try to salvage some income... now the regular job seems not be what he wants me to have.

Either way... I have to go, I have to see if this is a good opportunity and something I should consider or if this is going to be a fishing expedition for the company or myself.  I will go and see what they have to say and offer... then deal with the outcome.  There is just as great a chance that they won't offer me the job as the chance that they will.  I guess have a happy thought for me on Friday and we'll have to see which path rises to the top.

Hugs to all... going to go drown myself and try to find slumber land with both of my eyes closed this time... I guess I could visualize a piñata.... and take out my frustration by whacking the hell out of it... lol.

Insanity... its a noun.  Madness.  Lunacy.  Psychosis.  Mental Illness.  = extreme foolishness, or an act that demonstrates such foolishness. = legal incompetence or irresponsibility that results from a psychiatric disorder.

Which translates anyone who is trying to get out from under the bill collector.

I have officially worked since July 5th straight through except for Friday the 18th - when I publicly lost a quasi-friend.  Today was my scheduled day off.. Guess what I did?

Got up and dressed [professional work dress not slam out the door in PJ's or a housecoat.]. I dropped hubby off at work 7:55am. Drove across town to drop off paperwork and money that I had accepted last night -- [I didn't get home until 8:15pm -- most days its about 7:30pm]

Then spent an hour in the blueprint - plan room making sure that the choice of plans we picked for my clients was the one closest to their ideal of a home [for the least amount of money].  Spent an unscheduled hour with my New Broker and Owner of the Company touring a new home site [posh posh area].  Which I told him simply that even if he didn't use or like my opinion I was glad he asked for it. [Probably meant little to him but lots to me]. Back at office arranged for copies of blueprints to be made -- owner said he would bring them with him to our meeting that afternoon. [nice guy - didn't want me to miss my lunch with hubby]

After which I rushed over to the Mortgage office to drop off the other half of the paperwork and money that I started with this morning.  The loan officer was in a meeting still so I had her supervisor copy and sign for receipt of the delivery [I plan for worst case that way when it doesn't happen everyone is so happy.]

Well since we haven't had much down time we planned a lunch date because my day did start out as a very open light plan .... HAHHHAHAHAH foolish mortals....So I rush back across town, pick up hubby -- slow down have a nice 45 minute lunch.... then rush to meeting site for afternoon appointment. [poor hubby has had to catch a ride home most nights or wait until I am done... I am going to owe the whole IT department lunch or beers after work]

Meeting with clients went well. Boss arrived on time [always nice].  I surprised the couple with meeting with the Owner/Boss to discuss the beginning of their new home.  Much to learn people -- I have tons to learn -- only officially stuck my foot in my mouth once... but it was very heavily placed there.. recovered for the most part but I will have a queasy feel until I speak with the clients again. [just me being insane -- we have covered this already... stop beating a dead horse]. ---- Meeting lasts until 3:45pm.  Then had to chat with the boss before he left.  I grabbed my bags - including laptop - files -- purse that could actually be considered carry on luggage on a plane --lol -- then off I go.

I had to be back on the other side of town by 5pm.  Oh did I forget to tell you ... it is raining sheets of rain -- sporadically going on and off -- we have tornado warnings going on -- Texans' do not know how to drive in the rain.. or any weather for that matter... we have it so infrequently.  Accident's are everywhere so travel time is extended.

I arrived at my destination 6 minutes prior to 5 and just before the general contractor -- who is a new general contractor --- so he needs to be brought up to speed before the clients arrive.  They arrive a few minutes late.. thank goodness ... we do the 1st walk through of the house -- which is after the foundation, framing and roof is built. We have 3 other walk though's prior to closing.... which is scheduled September 19th.

Oh... just a note... Realtors work Pro Bono... which means I get paid when the house closes.  So since April I have kept up the pace and I have not received my first pay check yet.  Nice Huh?  ... Oh yeah did I mention this is my day off.. tomorrow is my day off .. but I bet you can guess my schedule for tomorrow?

Insanity... can you define it?

IT's rare that I put my hair up.  I don't like doing it  because it shows off my evlish ears and my very german nose.  However, when in a jam and my had just does not want to conform to the I want it to do I twist is about and slam in a few chop sticks .. jsut so I can pook my head everal times that day just for fun.... Well I had serveral compliments on my hair so I thought I would share with you in entrace and exit wounds from the chop stickes lol ... I did hair in 3 minutes tops and didn't see the back until I took a picture of it. lol... So a small girlie pat on the back seemed in order.   Pat Pat Part

UPDO last Minute

Now for the other stuff happening latelty, I will take a day or tow to piece the propler puzzle pieces so htat I can discuss them clearly.

Otherwise I succomb to my girlie moment .... How do you like my hair?

Ok.. I being broke for the majority of my life have found solace in the fact that I am an Artist. Using any manner of ways to create gifts to people.  However - it does have quite a lot of recoil and kick --- often landing the shooter on their preverbal ass.  

Anyway I gifted a friend of mine kids Murals.  Well for most this is an exciting prospect and it usually turns out really a lot of fun for the gifted and myself.  However, my gift does not include "Indentured Servitude" .  Granted it was a big gift - I also designed their rooms so that 'she' could decorate them to go with the mural.  I told her if she "needed a hand - I would be happy to help".  This is a way I can spend time with my friends, I like helping my friends.

I finished the oldest girls quite awhile ago but the youngest girl.. we just had scheduling problems and time wasn't on our side.  While completing the youngest's girls we discussed [talked about .. not agreed to do] the fact that the older girl was starting to outgrow her decor.  Ok.. we bounced around ideas on what to do for a young teen girl.. ok again.... we talked about it... -- please keep that in mind while you read -- all of this has transpired since right before Christmas 2006 to now.

OK.. Tally please... At the beginning

1. Mural for youngest girl

2. Mural for oldest girl

Ok.. today

1. Mural for youngest girl

2. Mural for oldest girl

3. Oldest girl room painted prior to Mural

4. Youngest girl room painted prior to Mural

5. Closet doors removed in Oldest

6. Closet doors removed in Youngest

7. Organizer installed in Oldest Room

8. Shades installed in Oldest Room

7. Shades installed in Youngest Room

8. Sew curtains for Oldest Room

9. Install Curtain Rods on Windows & Closet Door -- Hang Curtains -- Oldest Room

10. Install Curtain Rods on Windows & Closet Door -- Hang Curtains -- Youngest Room

11. Install Curved Shower Rod on odd side wall with tie backs in Youngest Room -- Hang Curtains

12. Various Decor items hung or installed

OLDEST GIRLS... VINTAGE BARBIE [dressed like Jackie O] IN PARIS .. Yes the concept was mine.  I also came up with all the decor.. my friend did not purchase all the ideas I had.. I had suggested she get a small 2 chair garden bistro set to place under the mural wall so that she has space to hang with her friends and do her homework. She never purchased it... I purchased enough.. so I did not buy it either.  The pink curtains were not my choice.  The hook system she purchased wasn't quite what we talked about but heck I didn't buy it and it was close to what was designed.

YOUNGEST GIRLS... SECRET GARDEN..  The room is super small .. painted the walls a light purple, painted squares then put a abstracted flower in each.. we purchased several sizes of fake butterflies.. super large to small... so the butterflies will sit on the edge of the boxes or flower petals .. a few randomly on the walls.  There is a off shaped wall so I installed the curved shower curtain rod so we could hang more of the gauzy sparkle curtains so that it would fell a little bigger and give it a unique touch.

**** OK this is the part that made the game go TILT.

While my friend is out of town to see her brother. She left me a key so that I could swing by and finish the flowers in the youngest's mural.  I did not have the time to finish last time and this way I would be uninterrupted and get done quickly.

OK I finish up.. so I give her a call to tell her I am done and am just about lock up packing my supplies up.  These are her words...

"Oh so your done finally.  When are you going to hang the butterflies?" ...pause..."Now that's done you can update the 'oldest' room with the design we talked about."

Ok,,, you can pick up your jaw now.  But just for a minute.  The 'update' to the oldest's room would entail me covering over the mural... you know take a roller brush and basically wipe it out.....it is only maybe a year old.

I guess friendship is Priceless.. it doesn't seem to cost her anything.

It's been awhile since I have felt truly taken advantage of.  I am usually better off at either cutting myself away or cutting out the person.  I have know this person for 14 years, while she is a bit on the 'gimmie' & 'mine' side of things... she at least appeared grateful --- we met when I was with my ex and she with hers -- whom happen to be friends and the reason we met.  IT was nice having that one friend that had been there and known my ex .. who has gotten to see the journey that I have undertaken.. someone to compare notes over what the ex did now.. I don't really whine about him .. that would be a full time job...no... but it was nice to be able to ring her up when he did something particularly idiotic.. just like she does with me about hers.

Thankfully, I do not count on her as a 'friend' .. or a Real Friend.  'Witchy Woman' blogged about friendships the other day.. it just seemed important to talk about especially when her blog is so fresh in my mind.  I guess I would count her in my 'second string' friends... someone to hang out with .. spend time, even enjoy their company.. you just don't Count On Them for anything.

When I gifted the Murals ..it is true I didn't have to do anything else .. but since it was my idea and she asked.. if I had the time I did... I thought I was 'helping' her out, being what my idea of a friend would be and do. Instead all this time I was apparently an indentured servant in the guise of friends.

This is in response to Spellweaver's post... 5 days later but I have been a busy lady.

1. I am who I always wanted to be. My husband [& friends] says I am genuine. I am who I am, I don't pretend for anyone to be anything other than myself. Still don't have that patience – waiting thing down but I am trying.
2. While I was a single Mom I held down three jobs, at the same time. I have a vast amount of random knowledge that I have gathered through my career path. It is amazing what you will retain and how you can apply it to your life and various other careers. I've had a lot of different jobs: secretary, admin asst, office manager, payroll clerk, AR & AP, production manager, model, exotic dancer, freelance artist, waitress, and asst. matre'd, insurance agent, realtor and a few more.
3. I could be a professional dumb blonde but it is to tiring. Playing stupid is hard work. * Since Spellweaver brought it up… My IQ is about 150, my siblings and I had IQ testing and my mother would never tell us who was the top but told we were all about 150 give or take a few points. Which is of course means absolutely nothing.
4. I have made men stutter [& not because of my IQ]
5. I am in pain… Fibromyalgia [No that is not 'I am a pain'… I wrote it right] – My Medical history would never be called boring: Hysterectomy [reason: Endometriosis, cysts, lacerations, adhesions], Hypoglycemia, Fibromyalgia, Atrial Tachycardita-Reciprocating Tachycardia [don't even try to say it… to many constaniants], Gall Bladder Cancer… those are the highlights for more see my blog.
6. I am an Artist: sketching, painting, sculpture, photography, design, etc. [Not your Aunt-Uncle-Cousin-Friend-stranger who paints kitsch landscapes, kittens or flowers in vases. Showing my work in galleries for over 25 years – not the state fair where bessie the cow is being judged for a blue ribbon. But that is just my opinion - I appreciate those types of artists, just don't like the label.
7. I love my husband. My husband looks like he should be in a rock band but is a nerd. He is truly a partner and takes care with me and our boys.
8. Haven't you met, are related to, know or have read about someone who really seemed to take life and live it. I am striving to be that person, who when they sit down to really look at their life – possibly write a memoir [one worth actually reading]. You look at them and say … She really lived.

View older blog "101 Things about myself... Updated 2008"

I apologize for not being more creative in my writing lately.  Life stuff seemed to weight me down enough to not allow me to wonder far from the written course.  So I looked for inspiration on the Internet and pulled up a few things that ring true.

First, I was looking for a few different quotes people have used in my life.  Although I did not find them I did fine a few to share.

WHAT IS THE MOST INSPIRING THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO YOU? 

My memory wont give the the exact words but it was: "No one will like you if you don't like yourself." "When looking in the mirror do you see who and what want to be, want to respect, want to strive for, want to believe in and follow? -- If its not then it's not the mirror -- it's you." Then the last is what I say all the time but am unsure where either I came up with the saying, read or heard it.  I have actually actively searched and can not find if there is another author... "Talent is wanting something bad enough to work hard for it."  That pretty sums it up for me.

Quotes that ring true for me...

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. Benjamin Franklin

No man is happy who does not think himself so. Publilius Syrus

Happiness depends upon ourselves. Aristotle

Insist on yourself. Never imitate. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live. Elbert Hubbard

Don't bunt. Aim out of the ballpark. David Ogilvy

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Albert Einstein

A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere.  La Rochefoucauld

No man was ever wise by chance. Seneca

I light my candle from their torches. Robert Burton

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.
Samuel Johnson

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt

It is foolish to fear what you cannot avoid.
Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes.
Publius Syrus

A man's life is interesting primarily when he has failed--I well know.  For it's a sign that he tried to surpass himself. Georges Clemenceau

Thank you for leaving me your kind words.  I finally got some sleep last night unfortunately I also caught the stomach virus that I was trying to avoid.... Teach your children to share... all they share are the germs. 

I must have killed the alarm this morning.  I woke up in a daze [that is what happens when you never reach REM sleep]... The clock said 7:42am,  my hubby has to be at work by 8am and it takes with no traffic takes about 15 minutes. [Did I mention that Murphy is a member of my fan club... I am serious as soon as I get his address I am talking out a restraining order.] 

We car pool - so I smack the hubby he launches out of the bed showers... now if I am running late I will throw clothes on and drive him to work then come home to change and get out the door.  However, it takes me about 30 minutes to be able to .. say...  'walk' .. let alone drive a car... I have to stretch.. mornings are horrible.  So I tell him to head out and he can run the car back to me at work during lunch.

I am working for a custom home builder .. started just filling in but now I am basically working there.  I am still a licensed Realtor and work independently but a few days out of the week I work at a model home.  [there is more back story but work with me here]  Anyway, the model happens to be less than a mile from my home.  Awesome.... did I mention we car pool?  So I put on my war paint, slam on my clothes, grab my bag with laptop and files... with my purse - which can pass for travel luggage--. throw my heels in my bag put on flip flops and walk to work.  [Yes we all agree I am nuts... why do you keep repeating yourself?]

Well, between the no sleep, working every day, having the house hold get sick with a stomach virus -- are we really surprised I got sick.. tisk tisk... so naive. by about lunch I knew I was in for it... only I can't leave.. I am the only person at work and I have people coming in the front door in a steady stream.  I don't want to loose the opportunity for working this company -- did I mention to anyone that a realtor works pro-bono?  I have to work.  I can spout all you like about the builder [save for another blog.. lets just say I would have him build me a home.]

Next... Murphy Sucks... did I mention that already. Ok last night in my daze of being me.. I did not plug my cell into my charger... so of course it dies by lunch.  I use my cell for personal [[keeping track of the boys... I have not been allowed to tag them like wild animals but I have put in a request for it.]]  But mostly I use my cell for work.  So now that I have no ability get my messages I am working blind all day.  The model home has a line and I can call out but like most I don't know the phone numbers of anyone they are in my freaking phone so why bother... aaargh. 

No Car.. No Phone..

The 'spec' [homes build for viewing are inside the subdivision the model is at the opening...] .. so I had to get a ride from all my possible clients... [oh are we just so classy now]... however, I must confess I did lie.  I didn't want or felt the need to tell my woes to clients.. so I excused my no car by saying it died on the way to work and I am waiting for my husband to drop off his car so I can use it and he fix mine.  Sympatric but more 'oh crap that sucks, crap like that happens to me all the time''' instead of explaining in full detail like I have just done to bore you to death ... but it is your fault for reading this far ...so why stop now.

Bry runs me my charger but does not get it to my until about 3pm.  I typically work the model from 10 am to 6pm, sometimes a little later if someone walks in at the end of the day... Chris came by to pick me up at 6:20pm and I was still out with clients... When I had the last person leave I hit the bathroom... the rumble in my stomach for the last three hours of the day finally gave way.  Chris loaded up my gear while I was indisposed.  [isn't he the greatest] We did not get home until 7:30pm .. remember the model is less than an mile from my home.  I went and laid down he took off and picked up Arby's .. he is so wise... Right before I started this spill I did the voice mail and email I missed from the day... the amount almost made me feel popular.  lol

Ok... it is now 10:30pm I am going take my meds, drown myself and go to sleep.  My stomach is thinking about being sick still but I have appointments straight through til Thursday of next week... so my internal organs just have to stop being a baby and deal.

Thanks for letting me spout and reading my rambling mess of a day.  I will take the time to swing by as soon as possible... hugs to all and I hope your week is going spectacular.

I wanted to write about other items but seem to be drawn to the Fibro.  Probably because I have not slept in two days.  Shit... I took a full regular prescribed dose and nope, nada, nothing.  I seriously feel punch drunk or like you did or do feel during pneumonia 

I knew it was going to happen but does that negate the fact that it sucks - no it just sucks.  I have stopped taking the prescription my doctor and I decided was not working for me.  Unfortunately that medication is in your system for 4 to 6 weeks.  It is just like being a junkie of some kind and tying to stop cold turkey.   AAAArgh!  This is not pretty folks.  I started to feel this shift in my system on Thursday and it has been making good time trying to get to the front of the line and knock my ass down.  At that point I will be forced to assume the fetal position, in my dark room, no sound -- I might rock back and forth like special ed, and even shed a tear or two.

Unfortunate for my body I have three more days before I can drop.  Friday will not come fast enough.  On top of that Saturday and Sunday I am working as well.... so I have to stuff all my Fibro flare down time into just that Friday.

Enough whining.  I am just about to head back to get ready for the day. Before I leave I have a few quotes, none make me laugh but do make you go Hum?

Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

“The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body”

“The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much and power over nothing”

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain”

“Pain is deeper than all thought; laughter is higher than all pain”

Evil being the root of mystery, pain is the root of knowledge.
Simone Weil

Pain is life -- the sharper, the more evidence of life.
Charles Lamb

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.''
Mary Tyler Moore

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
Lord Byron

The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.
C. S. Lewis

Well its only been a few days but it felt like a month.  My timing has been off all freaking week.  I have been going for a few different jobs and all of them want to talk or 'test' me in addition to all of them not having the ability to actually make a decision. 

Monday I had my first meeting with the Real Estate Company .  While the meeting got started, I start to do my impersonation of a bobble head - struggling to keep your eyes open, I am sure it looked like I was on some major drug binge.  Nope...I took my regular med's the night before but  I also have not a full nights sleep in almost two weeks. [this week I have tried to go to bed by 11pm and at 3:45 to 5:20am every day I have woken up]

-- One would think that with all different freaking narcotics I taken for the fibro over the years you build up a tolerance... if anyone else takes them it is coma land for them but with me nothing, nope, nada, not one blinky eye bobble head moment.  Yet for whatever biological crazy reason [yes it was probably the lack of sleep ... duh] my regular medications didn't make me sleep through the night instead they nearly did me in in front of my new boss.   Yeah for me!!!

I was embarrassed for a few minutes, I believe because I was the only woman there and that I was the youngest on top of that.  I managed to shake it off -- after the owner of the company got me a glass of water.  I don't like to explain my medical history it is just too complicated -- so I simply apologized saying and fudged the truth a little -- "I am sorry I seem out of it, I took some allergy med's and the box said non-drowsy but I feel they miss-stated the side effects."  That brought up the typical commentary from all in the room for when they had a similar bobble head moments followed up with advice for my allergies/sinus.  Again... Yeah for me.... is there sarcasm in the air or is just me?  Hmm?

I feel I redeemed myself a little after the meeting but discussing some marketing, strategy and a few ideas I had with the owner to generate production.  I got word second hand that he was impressed -- so that took a little of the sting out of the bobble head funny moment.

  Well, I have had my first appointment with a new Rheumatologist, he used to work with my last doctor, he seems to have a 'reality' based practice for fibro.  He understood my reasoning for looking for a new doctor -- they are human, my last doctor had her practice grow to quickly, bringing on a new doctor but also agreed that she should have been a little more considerate when in the almost 3 years I was her patient I only called twice to get an additional prescription -- I should have not been brushed off by her staff and her never return my phone call.  Its not like I wanted to have her call me back in an instant -- not practical -- but by the next day would have been nice instead of never.

Anyway, we went over my medical laundry list which is extensive and not for the fair of heart.  He stated that he thought I was managing very well, agreed to my decision to stop some of the medications and switch one out. He actually gave me some information I did not know, which is great!  Your doctor is supposed to know more than you are about your disease.  I give him credit he wasn't condescending and really listened. 

While we were separating the' lights from the darks' -- he asked me "do you want the 'textbook answer' or the 'real world answer'. " To be honest that sealed the deal for me -- the simply fact that he not only acknowledges the difference -- he works within those broad translations of how life can not be diagramed like the books state.  So after I slipped his AR clerk my co-pay I requested a transfer of records, signed the documents and they faxed over the request.  I am hopeful that this will give me progress instead of putting me on medical disability.

Well, tons more stuff happened in the past few days... but that blog would take you just as long probably to read it so I will save that for later.  I am super excited that my hubby got me another year of comedy central's standup specials.  I watched a few last night.  I had a rough day and laughing or bed sheet bongo always gets me in a better mood physically, mentally and emotionally.  So I am going to go back work --to pretending I know stuff.

Well, here we are.  My life seems to remain complicated even though I strive to keep it simple and direct - as I think most of us try to do.

I am faced with decisions and all of the choices are freaking complicated.

1st -- Health -- I am struggling with my health and it is been suggested to me by my doctor to consider trying for disability.  I agree that there are days that I feel truly disabled... but hey I just think that is the blonde seeping out.... .. But to actually 'label' myself that - I feel as if I can adapt and overcome my physical problems with time... yes I am just that stubborn.

2nd -- Career -- *Because my Medical issues really floored me earlier this year*  I was forced to minimize my time working.  Which of course caused financial strain * which leads to stress * which revolves around to cause more medical issues * which causes my health to deteriorate more.... you get the cycle here?

So, the hubby and I talked and I set out to find a job -- the quintessential perfect job -- does not exist but we still strive for it -- Now the perfect job is not the end job to your life it is just the one that fits where you are currently.  So stability, the M-F office job, because retail or restaurant I can not physically handle any longer... it would just deepen the health issues* 

Well, I found one pretty quickly and that fell through because the boss of the guy who hired me was fired and the new management literally cleaned house... which means my job was gone even before my first day. ~~ The other problem with this is that once you accept a job -- you tend to stop looking for any more -- then a few days or weeks go by -- your start date comes up -- you call to verify orientation and WHAM.. there is no job... so back to square one -- with the bonus of all the other possible jobs you didn't accept are no longer available and you have to start from scratch again.

~~~ By the way the next job I accepted -- the owner decided to get married and relocate on top of the facts that she needed to finish getting E&O insurance and a few other licensing items done before I could start.. when the surprise wedding and relocation happened it effectively closed the office

** WHAM !!!! It is now freaking April and you did your job your got two good jobs but both went bust unexpectedly.  Because we had set out to change my career path - leaving Real Estate -- You know it really bugs me.... I did the 70 hours a week -- I put my time in -- I had my first translation as a Realtor within 3 months of getting my license... in addition I was ranked 3rd in the office [35 Realtors] for production ... NONE of my buyers paid full price for a house and I sold a house in 41 days during the Mortgage crisis, getting a full price offer.  I am good at this job.  The only problem is that is is basically a PRO BONO type of income.  I do the research, the leg work, the everything I can do for my client -- then I get paid weeks or even months later.  It is hard to schedule and budget for.  So we thought going back to a M-F type of job with a salary would be less stress.... then the two job fiasco happened.  ARRGH!

Freaking Murphy... I am beginning to think he is stalking me.... if I had an address for the little Bastard I would get a restraining order.

3rd -- College --- Between the health issues - which I had to leave during a semester because of the medical scare --- Then taking a semester off to get the Realtor career going -- I  have 5 courses remaining to get my BFA [Bachelor of Fine Arts] --  because I have a good employment history -- I decided to take a job that would afford me the flexibility to finish out those 5 courses. 2 or 3 in the Fall 08 and 2 or 3 in the Spring of 09...   Well, I found two - plus the Realtor thing is back into the mix.. and you would think that it would make things less complicated... but nooooo.  it just added more spice to the complications.

Job 1....Realtor... I basically stopped working as a realtor from January to April... if you are going to leave you have to stop working.  then the two dead ends from jobs that hired me... so I decided to start working at it again.. a friend wanted me to help her get her a house... then other realtors were calling for me to work with them... if it meant adding to the financial situation here... I jumped in.  So now things have picked up and I have several irons in the fire and the financial potential is starting to materialize again.... the question ... do you stick with it and work in the college classes?

Job 2... Insurance... I was an Insurance agent for 5 years.... I did a good job at it.... a mutual acquaintance mentioned that a friend owned an agency and he was hiring.  I sent over my resume.. and I had my third interview yesterday... they want to offer me the job .. I have to talk with insurance board and get my license reinstated... However, while going through this hiring process I have realized that the owner -- can't make a decision without his father opinion -- who is an agency owner in another city -- He also is creating obstacles where there shouldn't be any... and hello after three freaking interviews... don't tell me you want to offer the job to me but you still ask me why they should pick me?   How good is the working environment going to be if just to be hired it is trodden with obstacles and seconding guessing yourself. -- he will work with my college, the salary will also have additional bonus/commission.  And yet?

Job 3... Art Job...Through reading and searching online through 'art job' sites I was contacted to interview for a Media/Advertising company... they need an additional designer but really only part time however they also need an production manger... the idea was tossed about that I would be able to fill both positions.  The college class thing was discussed but we have not come to an agreement.  I dropped off my portfolio, have talked once in person and once over the phone -- interviews -- but now I have to meet the owners wife.  She does not work for the company, does not work even in the same field, yet I have to meet with her before we can sit down to offer me the job.  So I have been told again that they want to hire me ... but this also requires me interviewing with an outside party...   I understand that I will be working hand and hand with the  owner.. but what the hell?  The other down fall is that the location is literally on the other side of town --- a pretty good distance for a commute -- with the price of fuel being so high .. is the commute or job worth it?

**************So you see.  Complicated... I am frustrated and my stress level is slowly building higher.  There are small factors with each choice but this is the big things that have to be dealt with before you can even get to the small - petty details of each choice.

MONDAY'S SUCK IN GENERAL ... SO HERE ARE A FEW FUNNIES TO GET YOU GOING.